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I used to try hard to be nice, but I’m over that now — and I want others to get over it, too. Because at work, “being nice” is a trap.
This first came into focus early in my executive career before I became a chief people officer. I was working on a merger, and a junior team member was eager to take on a critical role. Deep down, I knew she wasn’t ready. But I wanted to be a nice leader. So, I ignored my instinct and engaged in what author Kim Scott has called “ruinous empathy.” In my desire
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