It is not difficult to extend the lessons I’ve learned in my virtual sessions to every couple in their own homes. My advice is to begin by not talking—literally learn to “mute” yourself. Pausing to actively listen is not our instinct; we rush to tell our side of the story. But when you create space for silence, you listen more. That reduces assumptions about your partner and encourages greater empathy and deeper intimacy.
Heather Genovese, a psychoanalyst in private practice, describes listening as “critical to making space for another’s feelings. It makes your partner feel that they matter.” She cautions, though, that “active listening is never about finding solutions. Being
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